Spud Wars: The Epic Battle of Potato Spuds vs. Boat Spuds
Ah, the noble spud. A word so simple, yet so versatile. But did you know that “spud” can refer to both the delicious, carb-loaded potato and a crucial part of boat docking? If you didn’t, don’t worry—you’re not alone.
So today, we’re diving deep into the world of Potato Spuds vs. Boat Spuds to settle, once and for all, which spud reigns supreme.
Round 1: What Do They Actually Do?
Potato Spud:
A potato spud’s main function in life is to be delicious. It thrives underground, minding its own business, until some farmer yanks it out, cooks it, and smothers it in butter. It asks for nothing except to be mashed, fried, or baked into crispy golden perfection.
Boat Spud:
A boat spud, on the other hand, is a giant metal pole that secures a boat in place by stabbing it into the river or seabed. It does NOT taste good with
sour cream, nor can you turn it into fries. However, it does keep your boat from floating away into the abyss, so points for usefulness.
Winner: Tie—both are crucial in their respective worlds.
Round 2: Who Would Survive an Apocalypse?
Potato Spud:
Potatoes are survivors. They can grow in almost any condition (ask the Irish or Matt Damon in The Martian), and they last for months in storage. In fact, if humanity ever collapses, potatoes will likely be the first to rebuild civilization—probably in the form of vodka.
Boat Spud:
Boat spuds are made of heavy-duty metal, which means they can probably withstand hurricanes, floods, and even a zombie outbreak. But can they be eaten in a pinch? Nope. And let’s be honest, if the world is ending, I’d rather have a lifetime supply of fries than a giant steel pole.
Winner: Potato Spud, for its ability to provide food and alcohol.
Round 3: Who’s More Popular?
Potato Spud:
Everyone loves potatoes. French fries? Yes. Chips? Absolutely. Baked potato? Get in my belly. A potato can be found on dinner tables worldwide, uniting cultures under its golden, crispy banner.
Boat Spud:
Ask 100 people what a boat spud is, and at least 98 of them will stare at you blankly. The other two probably own a boat.
Winner: Potato Spud—because let’s face it, nobody writes love songs about boat docking equipment.
Final Verdict: Who is the Ultimate Spud?
While the boat spud is undeniably useful, it simply cannot compete with the sheer joy, versatility, and global appeal of the humble potato. A boat spud might keep your vessel in place, but a potato spud keeps your heart in place—with carbs.
🏆 Winner: The Potato Spud! 🏆
Sorry, boat spud. Maybe if you came with a side of ketchup, we’d reconsider.
Would you like fries with that victory? 🍟😆
Optionally, consider a ride on the Barbara-Lee Rivership – she offers potato spuds for guests to enjoy AND has spuds located on the forward and aft areas of the boat to help anchor her in place! Bonus – two fully stocked bars that includes a lot of Vodka!